Yoga Poses to Impress

yoga teacher trainingBy Jenny Park

This article will either make you laugh, cry, or make you mad. My intention is to make you laugh. Right now, we live in a world of selfies. People are taking pictures of themselves all the time. I know someone who has hundreds of her own pictures doing yoga poses for wallpaper in her bedroom. She is naturally flexible, doesn’t put any effort into practice, can do a variety of postures well, and she is obnoxiously proud of herself. Her pictures are all over Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. Therefore, I devote this article to people who practice postures only for their ego’s sake. My example doesn’t attend classes, but she promises that she will be visiting a studio to give lessons on how to put on your makeup, proper attire, and all the trimmings.


A Day in the Life of a Vanity Yoga Practitioner

Cast yogic tradition to the wind, put on your makeup, take your morning selfies, eat a steak sandwich for breakfast and wash it down with an iced latte. Meditation? What’s that? Let’s face it; some of us practice asanas for vanity’s sake. Maybe you want to impress this guy or girl who you see walking on the beach every morning. You can’t seem to find a way to strike up a conversation, but if you expose your interest in yoga, your potential relationship could go well.


Yoga postures, when practiced regularly, offer a myriad of health benefits. It can improve flexibility and stress levels, oxygenate the blood and it has been practiced for thousands of years. All of these aspects of yoga posture are important, but sometimes, one simply needs to ask: which yoga poses will make me look most attractive while done on a beach?


If you are looking for yoga asanas to impress others, start with positioning. Choose a spot that is out of the tidal zone if the tide is coming in, and stay out of the path of joggers. Facing out to sea is calming and presents a good visual frame for your yoga poses. Wear close-fitting clothes that don’t become transparent when damp.


Once you have selected your location, it is time to consider which yoga asanas will be most effective. Choose yoga poses in which you are confident- falling over ruins the effects. Avoid folding into forward bends, as they make the face turn red and leave the behind sticking up in the air. Poses like Garudasana or Eagle Pose contort the body and may be suggestive of needing to visit the facilities. Arm balances and headstands can be unstable when done on sand or on an incline, so proceed only with caution.


Starting in Tadasana, or Mountain Pose or Urdhva Hastasana or Upward Salute gives an air of calm and strength. Upward Salute is also known as the Palm Tree Pose, making it ideal for a beach location. For women, Setu Bandha Sarvangasana, or Bridge Pose, or Ustrasana, or Camel Pose is an excellent heart opener and provides a great silhouette. Men can try Virabhadrasana II or Warrior II Pose for a manly presence. Utthita Trikonasana, or Extended Triangle Pose, lengthens the limbs and looks attractive on both sexes.


To invite a friendly conversation at the end of yoga practice, try seated poses. Sukhasana or Easy Pose, or Padmasana or Lotus Pose are non-threatening and allow the breath to stabilize, this is all the better to discuss the sunrise with other beach visitors. If your sequence impresses others, you may be on your way to a joint Savasana or a future meeting in a yoga studio later.

Back to Reality: The mixture of selfies and asanas is extremely dangerous. The next best stunt is made to flirt with death. The bottom line is none of this is really Yoga at all. Be Safe my Friends.

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3 thoughts on “Yoga Poses to Impress”

  1. If you are looking for yoga asanas to impress others, start with positioning. Choose a nice spot and select a yoga poses in which you are confident- falling over ruins the effects. Nice sharing!

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